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Hello everyone� I hope you all are doing well� It�s been a few days since I�have updated last, so here we go� The rest of the school week went well� I absolutely love the children at the school, I�love the school, and I�m starting to get used to the food here� On Friday, I packed and moved in with Vuico and Cornilia here in Las Palmas (the city).� I�live on the 10th floor of one of the tallest buildings in the city.� The windows overlook the ocean on both sides of the island and we are only a few minutes from Las Canterras, a popular local beach.� It is beautiful here� I have my own room and my own bathroom.� I finally unpacked my things, so I�no longer must live out of my suitcase (yay)� Friday night, I�read, relaxed, and unpacked.� Saturday morning, we got up early and had something similar to pancakes.� It was made of mostly rice flour with walnuts and lemon inside.� There was three toppings on them= a nutty chocolate paste, maple syrup from the US, and also fresh berry mix that we made.� It was pretty good� We then left and picked up someone named Rosi who only spoke Spanish. �She is a friend of the family.� We drove towards the center of the island where we began a long trip in the car up to the highest mountain.� On the way up, we stopped for fresh bread from a panaderia (bread shop).� When we got up the mountain, we parked and hiked to the top.� It was so high up, that we actually were in the clouds. �It was beautiful and really neat to be in the clouds (although I�don�t like hikes).� We saw a rock shaped like a monk and reached the highest point which is called Roque Nuble.� Once the clouds lowered, we could see pretty far. �I took many pictures.� After we returned towards the car, we were stopped by a local selling cheeses, nuts, and bread. �We were given a sample of different things and I�tried a nut covered in caramel... It was delicious As we drove back down the mountain, we stopped a few times along the road to pick chestnuts from the trees��It was so fun� We also stopped at Vuico�s friend�s house.� When we arrived home, we went to the market, had dinner, and I�read for a while.� Today, we got up in the morning and more of those pancake things.� We drove down to�Las Canterras too (the beach)� It was an amazing experience. �There are rocky coves to walk on and I found many neat animals... Crabs the size of dimes and quarters, small shrimp that you could touch, hundreds of hermit crabs, fish that look like Dory from Finding Nemo, other stripped fish, and beautiful glass rocks.� We walked for a long time and found lots of neat things to keep. �I even found a pretty shell.� I�collected a lot of the glass rocks also.� We came home after walking for a long time, and had rice and curry and soup.� Right as we were getting things put away from the beach and dinner started, I realized that something in the shell and rock bag was moving.� Here, one of us accidentally brought back a hermit crab� haha So now we have a pet hermit crab that Voicu named Shelly. We are soon getting ready to go to church and Sunday school.� Voicu and Cornelia are very strong Christians so we always pray together, listen to Christian music, and talk about God.� It is really nice� I am excited because tonight I�will get to meet local people that are my age� Maybe I�ll make a friend or two� Well take care everyone and leave some messages� I�hope all is well

Tiffany
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Thatapos;s it. There is no more. And there is an empty space inside of me because of it. I donapos;t think that it can be filled.
and how dramatic can i be about such a thing.
as dramatic as a smashed emerald green car whom i gave the name "green car" only after she had died and left this world to be torn apart and made into goodness knows what.
and so iapos;m sitting here, and iapos;ve been sitting here, and i canapos;t say if iapos;ve been either very patient for a very long time or if iapos;m just not being patient at all.
i canapos;t tell you what iapos;m waiting for. It will splatter in my throat and cause an uproar of emotion. Or no emotion at all because itapos;s all been said before.

i remember getting into the backseat of a boys car. Another girl we work with that is usually in returns sat in the front seat and poked and criticizing sort of fun at his smoking.
i didnapos;t know you smoked.
i donapos;t.
then what are you doing right now.
oh this. This is nothing.
he put on a song that i knew, and i told him that i knew the song in an almost whisper, never having guessed that he would listen to such a thing. I was silent the whole way home, listening to the song with the sound of the boy and the girl in front jabbering and laughing and coughing and speaking with their strange accents that arenapos;t all that strange when youapos;re not from southern california.
but i am from southern california. And everyone must know that simply from seeing me run into a bathroom to dab tissue at my eyes. From whatever terrible and tragic reason i see fit to dab my eyes at for.

i donapos;t know where papa has gone. He wasnapos;t there when i woke up this morning. He wasnapos;t there when i came home ten hours later. He wasnapos;t there after i had stained my breath with various things. And heapos;s not here now as my eyes are getting heavy and reality is becoming too real.
iapos;m tired of real reality.
and my hair is in my eyes.

a pumpkin sits on an untouched paint set and smiles at me with large, oversized eyes and a tiny little smirk on the side of itapos;s disfigured, orange pumpkin face. But who am i to say that the poor thing is disfigured at all? i have just as disfigured and orange a pumpkin face as it does.

where are my days even going? is there much to look forward to now that those days have passed? i keep hoping that i just donapos;t know what this universe has in store for me, if anything at all. And i will wake up tomorrow, or the day after, or many days after that, and i will find something that will make me happy. And i will be afraid that it will leave me, but it wonapos;t.
i said this to someone not so very long ago.
there are voices outside of the window. And i want a cigarette. But i am afraid to leave my room. I am afraid to leave this place right here.
no where to go but my work, my dui school, my english class and all the bus stops in between. And you may see me sitting there, in my funny looking coats, sitting with my funny looking posture, and you might think something or other about me. But then you will move on with your pretty life that i see as something so beautiful that i wish i could paint a picture and make it burst out into the world for everyone to see.
oh help me.
but i donapos;t need help.
if you ever need a stranger, iapos;m your girl.

the day that i turn 21 will be a bad one inverydeed. I can walk home that day with a bottle of wine and a bottle of gin and not feel so bad about it. Because this country says that i can do such things. As long as i stay one hundred miles away from anyone and anything.
i can drink alone. And that is okay. And i can talk to myself when i am walking alone. And that is okay, too. And itapos;s okay, only because iapos;m lonely. And as a lonely person, i have that right.

itapos;s going to be a beautiful day. I donapos;t know what day it is, yet, though. But i know that itapos;s going to be a beautiful day. I had a dream about that day almost happening as i slept last night. I stood by an emerald green car with three or four others, and we held glasses of blood red wine, and watched a figure approach from far away. A silhouette beneath a street light. Dusk. But iapos;ve always been a fan of twilight.

i think i could go many days, this way, if only i could do whatever i wanted.
i like it when my customers wave to me when i sit outside blackening my lungs as though iapos;ve known them all my life. I like it when they say my name without looking at the name iapos;ve written on my orange apron. I like it when they understand my awkwardness. I like it when they smile at me and donapos;t look away from my eyes. I want that human contact so much that i savor the moments when i can stare into their different colored eyes. It doesnapos;t hurt me so bad to know that i donapos;t have anything to come home to.
no phone calls. I can feel the pity that wants to touch the edges of my bones. No one could possibly look forward to seeing ashley clair garcia. A bout of insanity. They donapos;t hear what i say, and i continue on anyways without ever even looking at them. I hear voices struggling in my sleep. Or i hear nothing at all. And i want to hear everything that there is to hear.
i donapos;t have it in me to do these things.
maybe i will learn one day.

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So, Iapos;m dreading December a bit. I canapos;t wait for December to come. Itapos;s a mixture of love-hate, really.

Why love? CHRISTMAS My favorite holiday Why? Many reasons, especially the CAROLS Dominick ,the Christmas Donkey, rulez :p

Hate? Exams, final presentation, more�exams, and Monica coming to Portugal. *shudders* Iapos;m supposed to play nice. I do NOT play nice. Either Iapos;m nice or Iapos;m not, but faking it leaves me in a very bad humor. Especially when such efforts are wasted on pointless ass kissing (on their part), general tackiness, and tears (again, on their part). Please, Iapos;m studying Economy. I have much more pressing matters to cry about than about not seeing someone who I barely speak with during the year.

Sure, I can help her out when she gets here. Go pick her up at the airport (after all, I know my way around the city very well) and get her safely on her way to wherever she may go. But I do not want to spend time with her. Listening her whining on how she misses Portugal sooo very much, and how luckkkyyy I am to beeee here and other nonsense. What part of "I do not like it here" do people not understand? What about the concept is difficult to be understood? Canapos;t people get that when Iapos;m somewhere I donapos;t like to be but HAVE to be I do not consider myself LUCKY? Stupid bints.

But now, Iapos;m expected to pick her up, spend copious amounts of time with her, and Iapos;m supposed to like it. And Iapos;m being forced on buying a gift that I do not want to give because Iapos;ve already been informed that she has the most darling little thing for me I donapos;t want it.

When I moved into this country, I wanted to at least, receive one single call from her and so my other called BFFs. I was always the one wasting money calling overseas. And what pisses me off really badly, is that they had a reason to call Portugal. They had to call their families, not only me. They never did. Stephanie, did. She, who had no reason whatsoever to get a long distance plan to call this forsaken land, did. I was the only person she called, because her family is all from the US. But she made the effort anyways. That means something to me, more than any physical gift.

But Monica, never calling me, not once, after I moved, that hurt like shit. Not even a freaking email We werenapos;t just acquaintances, we were very close friends for five years. And not even a little effort. Exchanging pointless chatter about the weather on messenger, does not count like effort in my book. Hurts like hell to be treated like a commodity.

But now, she is coming here for Christmas. And wants me to play being Best Friends Fohhevahhh while she is here. Like hell I will.

Well over a year as passed. Iapos;m still spitting mad from their thoughtlessness. But I got over it, got over them, and over whatever little digs they sent my way once in a while.

I have much better things to do with my 2 week vacation than performing a pointless, boring play to a thoroughly undeserving crowd. I want to spend time with my family, sing Christmas Carols until my throat is sore, and give gifts to those who truly mean something to me. I want to read SS/HG fanfiction until my eyes canapos;t take it anymore. I donapos;t want to study for my finals, but will have to anyways. Lots of things to do, and little time. Why waste it on people who donapos;t deserve it?

Iapos;m picking her up at the airport, because for all the shit she put me through, we were very close for 5 years. Iapos;m picking her up, because itapos;s a nice thing to do, like helping an old lady cross the street. Iapos;m picking her up, because if I was at Hogwarts, I would probably have been sorted into Hufflepuff for being a doofus. Actually, I probably wouldnapos;t be sorted into any House, simply for being a total freaking dunderhead.

But I refuse, to spend more time than necessary with her. If she wants to go clubbing, let her go with her crowd. Iapos;ll go, with my usual, steadfast company, the girls who study for exams with me, those who I hold up when they are at their worst, the ones who have been helping me up when Iapos;m down. I refuse to do anything else.

Whatapos;s pissing me off even more, is that she managed to rile me up sufficiently that I end up writing as eloquently as a 15 year old. I should know better than that, I should do better than that. I am a dunderhead. A tired, sleepy, angry dunderhead on top of it.



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I just thought iapos;d share: Iapos;m watching Son of Rambow for atleast the eighth time in maybe four weeks. Lol, iapos;m so addicted to this movie.

Iapos;m trying to write some fanfiction as well. Iapos;m going to try very hard to make atleast�some of�it gen (as opposed to het or slash) but i donapos;t know if iapos;ll succeed in that. Lee and Will are just. So. Slashable. And one day someone else�will ship this pairing besides me

oh how i wish this movie was extremely popular.

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Vanmiddag belde de postbode ineens aan, of we wisten dat er een groen parkietje in onze voortuin zat???

Nou nee dat wisten we dus niet en hij is ook niet van ons. Robert en Peter wisten het beestje naar onze voordeur te drijven, het arme beest hipte en fladderde alleen nog want hij was te moe om goed te vliegen.
Gelukkig vloog hij toen toch ineens naar binnen en kroop gelijk in de lamp (een plafoniere dus lekker handig).
Na een hoop gehannes had ik hem dan toch te pakken en kon hij snel in een doosje gestopt worden........pffff wat bijt zo'n beest toch venijnig

De jongens hebben snel de oude parkietenkooi bij mijn ouders opgehaald en ik heb de dierenambulance gebeld om te vragen of ze een melding van een vermiste parkiet in onze omgeving hadden.
Dat hadden ze helaas niet, maar ze vroegen of wij de parkiet even wilden opvangen en dan zouden ze in de loop van de dag wel even langsrijden om hem op te halen....... We hoefden hem dus niet eens zelf te brengen.....handig

Het slachtoffertje was erg stresserig en hij kukkelde steeds van de stokjes af.

Floor, onze heldhaftige hond, vond deze onverwachte gast absoluut niet leuk Ze kroop bibberend van angst onder de bank en weigerde er onder vandaan te komen........ Niet te geloven toch
Pas toen de meiden van de dierenambulance zich over het vogeltje ontfermd hadden en de vogelkooi uit de kamer verdwenen was, durfde Floor weer te voorschijn te komen en normaal door het huis te lopen.
Dat malle beest jaagt buiten achter de eenden en eksters aan maar zo'n fladderend, schreeuwend parkietje vindt ze eng whahahaha

Nu is het lekker herfstvakantie dus daar gaan we even heerlijk van genieten.

Iedereen een prettig weekeind en eventueel ook een hele fijne herfstvakantie

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apos;apos; i catch a glimpse to heaven, i found my paradise apos;apos;, yes you are my angel.

Unstoppable ever-changing mood. The moment negative thoughts come in, it cannot stop until there is no more of these thoughts left in the head. Negativity is something everyone holds, just that i tend to have a bigger share of it than positivity.

More and more emotional stuffs coming in. Well maybe it is me who is thinking too much.
What to post? Nothing bah.

And yes angel, where are you?
asbsd.

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Linux is still obscure, when itapos;s said in mixed company, people often have no idea what you are talking about.
Even when you mention, that most of the devices they own, be it tivo to the your phone, maybe. Maybe your game systems too, they donapos;t care.

But what i do next, is tell the, what Linux will offer, and why they should be excited.
When people usually talk about their computers, they often say it takes focus and time to operate a computer.
Companies are attempting to remedy this by laptops and i phones, but people should expect mini that work as fast and as powerful as your desktop at the size of a credit card soon, and Linux will play a role in that.Or a PC that works as reliable, and as responsive as your toaster. Instant search results, and it powers on and off at the flick of a switch.
And these devices will be cheap All because of Linux.
People will only care about interfaces soon, because Linux will eventually dissolve all distinction, be it windows or Macintosh, Linux will use all software. And if apple and Microsoft are to survive, they can only patent look, and i feel both will still have fans.

Linux is important because it gives the world a powerful tool to run their manufactured goods.
And because these devices are open sourced, they can actually age gracefully, eventually gaining technology to protect battery life, increase performance and manage disk space.

I also have faith that open sourced philosophy will eventually benefit the creation of artificial intelligence, space exploration and dealing with realities of physics. These will all be made possible because of the openness of Linux.


There is little doubt that if you are interested in staying ahead, you should get started now.

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Yay i love this LJ skin. :)
I really donapos;t know whether to move here or to stay at Xanga, but i think iapos;ll be blogging here more so weapos;ll see, it might become a only for friends thing. And then the xanga will be the public one with lots of pictures and stuff, i know that people donapos;t like reading emotional stuff anyway. And when they do, they start gossiping. So whatever, iapos;d like to decrease the amount of people reading my innermost thoughts. And i highly doubt this blog will be discovered anyway.

I am like soooooo addicted to the Mamma Mia soundtrack. Oh yes i am super duper happy because i lost 2kg. Omggggg. Its like really satisfying to step on the scale and see that youapos;ve lost 2kg just from running. Alot of people told me my legs will get bigger, but i think the whole point is to get it to be more muscular, right? I donapos;t know.

Anyway, iapos;ve been quite annoyed recently. At people who make other people do stuff for them without any reciprocation whatsoever. Hello, people arenapos;t your slaves. Everyone is equal, and i will not do your stuff for you. Of course, if its something important and you truly canapos;t do it due to other committments or something, then i will do it WILLINGLY. But if you are just being darn lazy then sorry, do it yourself. FYI, i am not your dog. Not. Your. Dog. Need i say it again? Gladly. I am not your dog. Get that in your head, and kindly fuck off.

Oooooh, angsty. Haha. I am cravingggggggggggggg KFC cheese fries, i havenapos;t had them for over 2 months. I havenapos;t had fast food for the longest time, i used to eat so much. I canapos;t believe it, where was my self control then? No wonder iapos;m so damn fat now. It was like one day i woke up and thought "I MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT" and i stopped eating those calorie filled evillllllllllllll things and started exercising. Speaking of which, here are my exercise goals for today. (I want to run 20km a week)

- 3km
- 60 sit ups
- 20 torso twists
- 100 jumping jacks
- 100 crunches

Yayyyyyyyyyyy. I can do it, i know i can

Okay gotta go, i want to watch Supernatural and Ghost Whisperer.


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